The Birth of Jackson Lynn

leaf ranchctI remember looking over my fertility chart feeling queasy as I wondered… Could I really be pregnant again? It was the first time we had tried to conceive after the last miscarriage just a few months before. I was only 10 days past ovulation, there was no way I could be feeling sick already. I thought, its all in my head, its just not logical to have symptoms this early. But alas I could not wait, a few minutes later I watched a faint pink line stretch across the window, confirming what I had hoped for all along. I was pregnant! Suddenly a pang of terror ran through me. Would this child live? Two others had succumbed to the darkness of my body, denied the breath of life. There was no reason that this one should live either, sadness and woe filled my heart. I clung to the little hope I had left in my heart and I prayed that God would have mercy on me.

Sunday, October 14th, 2012 – 5 days past my estimated due date…

I awakened at what had become my usual time due to the incessant need to urinate and annoying back pain at 4:30 am. I waddled to the bathroom and then returned to bed hoping to sleep for a while before beginning my day. I lay there restless and hungry when I realized I needed to go to the bathroom again. I grumbled to my slumbering husband, “this is ridiculous, I just went pee! I cant believe I have to go again already!” I went to the bathroom again and upon returning to the bedroom, I felt a stirring in my abdomen. It wasn’t the normal violent attack that I had grown accustomed to from my extremely active and seemingly limber son, it was a flurrying of sort. Something inside told me “its time, your baby is coming today”. My first official labor pain was at 5:05 am. Brad, my husband, started tracking them on his phone to measure the duration and elapsed time. I decided to call my long time friend Hannah who had come to town to assist me in labor. I told her that I wasn’t sure if something was happening or not but I wanted to give her a heads up and that I would call her back later. Sure enough my contractions persisted and grew more intense. Hannah arrived sometime around 7:00 am to help me. I breathed deep and waded through my contractions like I was riding stormy ocean waves. They swept down harder and harder but I kept my focus on my baby. Hannah and I talked and laughed between pains and I got in and out of the bath tub a few times. Suddenly I felt overwhelmed and could not rationalize thought… all reason had left my mind. I remembered the great midwife Ina May Gaskin saying in her book “your brains have gone to your bottom” and so they had. My loving husband called the midwife and doula, then relayed to me their advice to rest and stay calm because I probably had a lot longer labor ahead of me being a first time mother. I could not accept what he was saying, I could understand the meaning of the words leaving his mouth but they held no relevance for me. I told Hannah, Brad and Eric (our friend and driver), “NO! This baby is coming soon! You do not understand, I am not doing this 12 HOURS!… We need to go to the birth center now!”

We made the hour long car drive to Lafayette from Baton Rouge where our birth team was waiting for us. They had the birth tub full of hot water and I could not have been more anxious to dive in. The warm water felt strange and almost foreign as every nerve in my body ignited with each rolling wave. I felt light and suspended, as if I could float away.

As my pain grew, I became acutely aware that my sons arrival was approaching. I made my way to the toilet where I regained some control over the pain and myself. At once, a shadow of fear fell over me. I went from total confidence in my body to sheer disbelief. I told my doula, “I don’t know about all this” she asked me what I meant in which I replied, “I’m just not sure, maybe I should be in the hospital.” She looked at me tenderly and said exactly what I needed to hear, “everything you need is right here, everything you wanted to happen is happening right now and your baby is coming soon.” In that moment I realized that unlike those other babies lost, I would soon be holding my very own son in my arms. Not a minute later I felt him push down hard inside me. This was it, no turning back, no room for doubt. This baby was coming out.

I stumbled across the room from the toilet to the bed and asked for the midwife to come in. She came in and asked if I was feeling pushy and with a nod I lowered myself to the bed for her to check me. Laying across that mattress became my personal hell for what seemed like ages as another violent wave crashed down on me. I felt as if my body might dismember itself right then and there. She assured me I was complete and asked if I was ready to push my baby out. “Yes” I cried out. I stood and felt him push down with such force that I felt he would fall out and on to the floor below. I felt a warm gush of liquid flow down my legs and splash at my feet. My bag of amniotic fluid had finally ruptured.

I rushed the 4 feet from the bedside to the birthing tub. I knew that if I didn’t get into the water right then, my dreams of a water birth would not come to fruition. The next and almost final wave brought my sons head down through the canal, the pressure was unbelievably strong. And then I felt it… a searing hot fire leaving my body and I remembered Hannah telling me “when you feel the ring of fire, that’s when the baby’s head is coming out.” Suddenly someone shouted “slow down, pant like a dog!” But I could not pant, I could not even remember what it would be to pant. After all, my brains were in my bottom just like Ina May had said. Yes, something primal took over me, that searing hot fire urged me to dig deeper, push harder and then, he left my body. Almost totally in one fluid motion he passed from womb, to water, to earth. Jackson Lynn Iverson took his first breath and then I heard his first cry. Instead of pain washing over me it was a wave of relief. Total relief and utter bliss flooded my soul. I turned over in the tub and took my living, breathing son in my arms. “Oh my God, I have a baby” I gasped. Surreal is the only appropriate way to describe the moment… He is my rainbow. My beauty & light after the flood of sorrow that could no longer hold a place in my life.

Jackson Lynn Iverson
Total labor 6.5hours
50 mins at birth center prior to birth
9 mins of pushing
8.2lbs and 20.5 inches long

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Natural Birth Resources in Louisiana

Louisiana natural birth link

Most women think that they do not have many options when it comes to the birth experience but even more commonly than that, women do not even give it a thought at all.

The standard practice in the US is that a woman gets pregnant, schedules an appointment with an obstetrician, goes through a series of vaginal exams, ultrasounds and if she’s lucky escapes with a medicated vaginal birth. I say lucky because 1/3 of the women in the US will give birth via cesarean section. Which is necessary in some few cases. This has become the “normal” birth. But what is/ should be “normal” birth?
That is something that every mother must ask herself.

Do your research, know your options and decide for yourself what you want, are comfortable with and how you will feel about each choice. The only wrong choice is not choosing at all but relinquishing your body to a medical provider that many times does not practice informed consent.

Below is a list of natural birth educators, doulas, midwives and written resources. Most of these women will talk with you free of charge and help you discover what it is that you truly need and want for your birth experience.

Midwives

Emmy Trammell 985-974-2724

Alina Gardner Brmidwife@gmail.com

Sally Acosta 985-259-3557

Sherri Daigle 225-293-5836

Lynette Robinson at Gentle Choices birthing center 337-501-2916

Anne Lastrapes 337-278-4354

Doula/educational services

Lacey Hebert http://tolbirth.com/index.php/about

Nicki Pugh 225-819-7977 or visit her on Facebook at Old River Doula

Nola Nesting 504-655-1819 or visit them online by clicking here.

Jenny Dickerson 985-320-0016

Kira Smith 337-366-0303 http://www.motherbirthla.com/#2755

Rene Johnson Birth Help http://www.birthhelp.com/

My recommended reading list:

Spiritual Midwifery by Ina May Gaskin
Ina Mays Guide to Childbirth
Active Birth by Janet Balaskas
Baby Catcher by Peggy Vincent
Pushed by Jennifer Block
Your Best Birth by Ricki Lake and Abby Epstein

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My Breastfeeding Experience: A Difficult Journey

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My Breastfeeding Experience: A Difficult Journey

I thought that Breastfeeding would come naturally to me. I thought it would be easy because our bodies were created to nourish our offspring. I thought it would be this beautiful bonding experience. Everything I thought, turned out to be wrong.

I read lots of books about pregnancy, labor, birth and breastfeeding while pregnant with Jack. It was not even a question in my mind as to if I would nurse my baby. Of course I would, I was not going to give him an imitation when I had the real thing free and readily available in my very own body. I would never drink baby formula myself or even the first two ingredients – corn syrup & vegetable oil so why would I give that to my baby? So the decision to breastfeed for me was an easy one. What was not so easy, was actually doing it!

I had Jackson on a beautiful warm morning in October. My labor was a short but intense 6.5 hours resulting in a medicine free natural water birth. It seemed so easy and natural and as soon as I took my slippery pink son into my arms, he immediately began to root searching for my breast. I put him to breast before even getting out of the tub. I thought WOW! He’s already nursing like a champ, this is going to be great! We nursed a few more times before leaving the birth center to return home.

That evening it was my husband, myself and our new baby all alone. We had no idea what we were doing, and panic started to set in. Our baby cried all night long, he awakened every 30 minutes to an 1 hour around the clock. I nursed him on demand just like the book had said, and changed sides, just like the book had said. But something was just not working.

The evening of day four, my husband brought me a diaper and said “hey this looks kinda weird”. I looked at the diaper and saw my worst nightmare. A light red rust like substance lay there revealing the hard truth, my son was dehydrated. He wasn’t getting enough colostrum and my milk still had not come in. I felt defeated and totally lost. The next morning Jack had another diaper laced with urinate crystals and I was grief stricken. He was still crying day and night, hungry no doubt and it was all my fault. I contacted my friend Brigid who was nursing her sweet baby girl at that time. I asked her if she would be willing to give me some of her breast milk to feed my son, since I was not able to at that time. She brought milk over right away and even tried to nurse him herself, but he would not latch. We filled a small medicine syringe with breast milk and slowly filled his mouth. His face and whole body relaxed in satisfaction and he instantly fell asleep.

I pondered what I would do next? Would I start formula? Would I try to obtain more donor milk? What was wrong with me? Where was my milk?

Another friend visited me that afternoon to comfort and console me. As we were talking she looked over and asked me, “what is that on your nipple? IS THAT MILK?” Sure enough my milk had come just shy of 5:00pm on the 5th day after birth. What a relief! I could finally feed my son like I needed to. But my problems were far from over.

Over the following weeks, I continued struggling to feed my darling son. I suffered extreme nipple damage. Both sides were bruised, cracked and bloody despite the creams, soothie pads, and air drying, I was in constant pain. I cried every time I fed him, tears would stream down my face. It was so unbearable, I dreaded nursing him and he ate so often. Unknowingly I battled nursing a baby with a thick upper lip tie and light tongue tie. I was made aware of this after reaching out to a lactation consultant at a local hospital. Getting it surgically corrected at that time was out of the question. I was not in a proper emotional state to deal with that, so we waited.

And waited, and waited. I waited for it to get better like the ladies at the La leche league said it would. For the constant shooting pain to go away, and i waited to not HATE feeding my baby whom I loved with all my heart.

For two months straight, I took it day by day & nursing session by nursing session trying to keep our breastfeeding relationship alive. I stayed active on the local la leche league Facebook page and attended meetings for support. Finally around the 3rd month, I felt like things were getting better.

I practiced all the healthy habits to protect my milk supply. I never supplemented with formula to sleep, I drank water like crazy, took fenugreek, and ate a million lactation cookies. I also stopped eating dairy in an effort to help Jacks horrible tummy aches and extreme gas.

Jack is 6 months old now and he’s still nursing. It’s easy now and I don’t have any pain. The only problem I have is the occasional love bite, I say love bite because he’s always smiling when he clamps down on me. I’m proud of myself for enduring the pain and fighting for our nursing relationship. I am so grateful to be able to provide the best nourishment for him.

It’s hard for me to think on my breast feeding journey. I feel angry, robbed and ashamed. I feel angry because I wasn’t prepared like maybe I could have been. Angry because things did not happen like I wanted. Robbed because I did not get the deep intimate bonding that I thought I would have. Robbed of the enjoyment of my newborn son. Precious, unrecoverable time spent exhausted, in pain and constant despair. I had waited so long for him and then could not enjoy him, how sad?! Last of all I feel ashamed. Ashamed that I ignorantly allowed my son to get dehydrated before reaching out to someone for help. Ashamed because I hated nursing my baby, that I didn’t even want to look at him sometimes because of the pain I was in.

I do not have birth trauma, I have nursing trauma. This experience has scarred my heart and makes me question having more children. I hope that my heart will heal over time and that one day I will be able to let go and forgive myself.

If you have trouble with nursing please reach out to other wise women who have nursed children, your local La Leche league and lactation consultants in your local area. Know you aren’t alone in your struggle and you can get through it!

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The Birth of River: A Guest Post

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River’s birth story

I was spending the night at my grandparents’ house on January 16th. It was about 10pm and everyone had gone to bed already. I was laying on the couch when I felt the first contractions.
I started timing them and within two hours, they were 8-10 minutes apart and a minute and a half long (I still have the timer record of it on my phone) and strong. I got excited and called my mom. She came at about 4:30am and they were 5 minutes apart.

At around 6am, the contractions were stronger and 3-4 minutes apart, so I called the birth center (at Ochsner) and let them know I needed one of their tub rooms and would be coming in soon.
The car ride was not fun, but also slowed the contractions down. By the time we arrived, they were back at about 8-10 minutes apart and weaker.
They saw me in triage and I allowed an initial cervical check (I had none throughout pregnancy), and was surprised to be at a 2, 60% effaced. I wasn’t a big fan of the midwife (medwife) who told me “well, if you stay and haven’t progressed within an hour, we’ll end up in a section”.

Needless to say, I went back home (to my grandparents’ house as it was closer). I tried to get some sleep, but the contractions were still coming steadily at 6-7 minutes apart. I had my last midwife appointment scheduled for 1:30 that afternoon, so I decided to go to it anyway.

I asked Bethanie (my midwife) if she would check my cervix as the contractions had gotten stronger. I was at a 4 and 70-80% effaced with a bulging bag.

I knew he was coming soon, but not just yet. I needed to have his car seat installed and I wanted it checked! I messaged Amy (cpst) on Facebook and asked if she would mind checking my install.

She came over and fixed my mistakes for me and we talked about labor and birth all while I breathed through contractions. It felt good to be up and around, even in the cold outside. And I am so very grateful for her advice and help.

Around 5pm, my contractions were stronger and about 4-5 minutes apart. I tried to eat something (grits), but gave up after a few bites. I decided I would bring some snacks with me in case I wanted it later.

At around 6pm, the contractions had gotten even stronger and I knew I wouldn’t want to be in the car if they got any stronger, so we got everything ready to go. I ran in the bathroom (why do we all take pictures in there??) to take one last belly picture before going in. I was 39 weeks and 4 days pregnant and about to meet my prince.

My mom, sister, aunt and I left for Ochsner. I was right about the car. This time, however, the contractions didn’t slow or lessen.

Once there, I allowed the second “initial” and LAST cervical check. I was at a 7 and 90% effaced. I was admitted and went to the room with the huge, wonderful tub. I texted Jade to let her know I was there so she could leave.

The midwife I saw was Bethanie’s student Amy. She was pregnant too. I think that’s what made her so gentle.
I let them do a 15 minute strip of River’s heart tones (he kept running from the monitor as always) and got changed into my dress. We went over my birth plan. I even updated you guys on Facebook for a while. I hooked up my phone to the room’s speakers (awesome) on pandora to listen to music and started filling the tub.
About five minutes after going over my birth plan, an anesthesiologist got lost and knocked on my door offering an epidural.

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I texted Rachael to let her know it was baby time! The contractions came in waves, and were stronger, but still a lot easier than I thought they would be. Letting them roll through me was a little trancing.

Once the tub was full, I got in and immediately was calm. The hot water felt wonderful (I will always be a bath type girl) and I loved the weightless feeling of floating.

I got in and out a few times to try and use the restroom and to keep my contractions from slowing or stalling in the water. At one point, I had to pause halfway in and halfway out of the tub, barely touching the ground for a contraction. That was the worst contraction of them all.

We listened to Norah Jones' station on pandora. I floated and breathed and drank about 4 giant cups of icy water. I had no interest in food. I got so hot in the tub by that point, I had the air down low and was freezing everyone else. I even dumped ice in the tub.

As the time inched closer and closer to midnight, we started wondering if he'd make it on the 17th at all. I had a feeling he wouldn't (I was right).

We talked and laughed and everyone waited as I breathed through contractions to continue the conversation.

Some time around midnight, I started feeling the urge to push. Two contractions after that, it was no longer an urge, but an involuntary thing. After one contraction of pushing on my side (caught me by surprise), I knew I needed to be on my knees.

My mom found a stool or a chair or something (I confess to not paying much attention at that point) and sat by the side of the tub to hold my hand and put cold rags on me (thank you mommy!). Somebody (I think my aunt) went to go find the midwife.

The midwife came in and stood by the tub. I think there was also a nurse there. The contractions were hard and fast and I was zoned in and focused. I think I may have bruised my poor mom's hand.

I vaguely remember someone coming in to ask if I minded Rachael coming into the room. I nodded and don't think I even said hi to her (sorry, Rach!) when she came in.

We were still listening to Norah Jones's station and Etta James' song "At Last" came on. I had been tuning out everything including the music until that point. I listened to it and sang along in my head, feeling excited and nervous and proud, because I could feel his head (through his sac as my water had not broken) and knew he was almost there (at last).

Just a few minutes later, his head was born and with a surprised "oh!" (The only actual word I remember saying while pushing), I turned back off my knees to reach for him.

As I touched his head, I realized my water still had not broken. He was born in the caul, a lucky sweet boy! Another small push and he was out, my angel come to earth at 1:07am on January 18th. I pulled him up to me and Amy reached out to unwrap his cord (triple nuchal).

I pulled him to my chest and was mesmerized instantly. He was so tiny! So perfect. His head was molded and I was surprised to see he had some hair. He stared around with wide eyes and was so silent and calm.

He held my finger as I held him and fell in love. I felt all over him, wanting to memorize each inch. I looked at his tiny fingers and his sweet little eyes. His teeny bum and long legs, his ears (just like mine). I soaked him in and soaked up the rush and happiness of having him the way I wanted to.

I looked around and finally said hi to Rachael. I looked at his cord and felt it (I wish I had at least glanced at it while it was pulsing with blood) and changed out the blankets on us so he wouldn't get cold. Amy commented that his cord was thinner than she'd seen before.

About 45 minutes after he was born, my sister cut his cord (it had stopped pulsing about 10 minutes before). I birthed the placenta a few moments after that.

I let my sister carry him to be weighed and measured quickly while I got out of the tub and got checked (I had a 2nd degree tear that needed stitches). He was 7lbs and 4oz (a full pound less than I was expecting) and 20.5 inches long.
They showed me my placenta, all the veins and the membrane and cord. It was placed in a small bowl with a lid to be taken home with Jade for encapsulation (I HIGHLY recommend it).

His foot prints were done (as well as a second set in his scrap book) and he was brought back to me. Jade helped me latch him and he nursed for the first time and I melted.

Birthing my beautiful little boy was the most amazing day of my life. I am so proud of myself and so blessed to have him. He is everything right in the world and the love of my life. I birthed with love and with strength, without fear.

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You Are Doing What With Your Placenta?

While I was pregnant with Jack, I decided to look into placenta encapsulation. I cannot remember which book I came across it in first, I just remember feeling intrigued by the idea.

I was open to anything that would help my transition from pregnant to mother. I feel like it served to be extremely beneficial to me the first few weeks after delivery and the only negative thing for me was that I had a small placenta. So I only had a small amount of pills, many days I wish I had some left over when I needed a “pick me up”.

A local midwifery student and doula, Nicki Pugh, provided this excellent explanation for my blog. If you are pregnant and are interested in her services please contact her through the link at the bottom of the post.

Here’s a totally awesome picture of one of her placentas. It’s amazing, it is the life source for our babies as we grow them.

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Encapsulation:

Placenta encapsulation has really hit the mainstream in the past year or so. While there is a lack in current research regarding consuming the placenta, there does exist ample anecdotal evidence that women who encapsulate and consume have less emotional distress, have more energy and have a quicker, more pleasant postpartum recovery.

Numerous benefits including:
Improved mood and energy
Increased milk supply
Balancing of hormones
While these benefits are wonderful during the immediate postpartum weeks, the capsules can continue to be of benefit for months and years into the future for a variety of hormone-related issues.

The process includes adhering to strict sanitary guidelines during the process of preparing, drying, grinding, and encapsulating the placenta. The capsules can be placed in the freezer for long term storage. In addition to capsules, the placenta may also be used to create a tincture, which is highly shelf stable and can remain potent until menopausal years.
Ideally, the placenta is encapsulated within 48 hours after delivery. To facilitate this process, families are provided with information about how to properly store the placenta until the encapsulator arrives.

Most hospitals have policies in place to accommodate those that are planning to utilize the placenta. While your encapsulator can advise regarding local hospital, it is always best to discuss this with your healthcare provider prior to the birth, as well as include as part of a birth plan.

Placentas that have been properly frozen can be encapsulated up to 6 months or longer after delivery.
For more information about placenta encapsulation, contact Nicki Solomito Pugh via facebook at ‘Old River Doula-Nicki Solomito’ Click Here!!
Nicki Solomito Pugh, MS, student midwife at Midwives College of Utah and homeschooling mama to three girls.

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The Birth of Cyan Lovetro: Guest Post

Cyan’s Birth Story

Our final 16 hours – Cyan’s birth story. By kathropologie

As I sit here in the very same place that my water broke, I remember our last 16 hours together in that form. March 29th – I awoke in the early morning 3am-ish as usual to empty my bladder and get a little snack, things seemed pretty normal. We had scheduled your induction and you were coming on Wednesday 3/30/11. My mind was cleared of all the tales of how to induce labor (I had tried damn near all of them).Mid morning daddy and I got up and started our day making egg in a bread (basket) for breakfast, how fitting.. I was sitting on the sofa same place as always and started having really annoying menstrual like cramps. The day before at my 41 week checkup I had my membranes stripped in hopes that you’d come on your own before Wednesday, never did I imagine that it was finally happening! 10am – I got up to use the restroom and felt a very different puddle of sorts that most definitely wasn’t urine. High-tailing to the bathroom daddy came check on me. We weren’t quite sure but we assumed it was your water bag. I had been planning since the beginning to welcome you into this world without unnecessary medical interventions and any form of pain medication; just as naturally as you were created. We had consulted with a doula (labor assistant/coach) to help us get through it. We contacted Rene’ and let her know what was going on. After about an hour we had narrowed it down.. Labor had definitely started, you were ready to see the world and you did it on your own!!Noon – contractions had definitely patterned themselves and we began timing them. I knew it was the “real deal” when daddy could tell me when I would have one and about how long and at what intensity to expect it. They were steadily coming at about 5-7 mins apart and were 2 x 30 second ones and following was one big 50-60 second one alternating.. Active labor was approaching. My water was continuing to break and we were beginning to notice a yellowish greenish tint.. Meconium. You had “pooped” in your bag. This made mommy a little nervous.. So we called my mom, your “Lily” and she was on her way to meet us at home. She arrived at about 2pm. 3pm-ish – Active labor was alive and well! Contractions were about 4 mins apart lasting a minute or so, give or take a few. We were on our way quickly to the hospital. Not long after, we arrived at the hospital, checked in, and went through the nightmare that was triage, we had safely made it to our delivery suite. This is where you’d be born. Where we would finally see your tiny self. 4:00 pm – I had already labored for about 7 hours and this phase continued on for about another 5. Active labor can be really long I arrived at the hospital dilated about 4 1/2 cm which I had been since at least the day before. My first exam was at about 7pm and I had progressed greatly to 6-7cm. For all that active labor at least it was effective! We alternated positions throughout this time, birth ball, warm shower, ice packs, and lots of swaying. I never thought I’d be one to vocalize during labor but there was something very rhythmic and soothing about a low hum during the brunt of contractions. It was as if I was singing a song, my own labor song. 10, 10:30 pm – Transition was finally starting!! Mommy was getting tired.. My contractions were strong with the urge to bear down, moving you through the pelvis and into the birth canal. It was beginning to be intense no doubt. At this point daddy and lily alerted the waiting room crowd that soon I’d start pushing. I was again examined and I was 10 cm!!! Exciting news! Not so exciting was that the dr felt a slight anterior lip still on my cervix that we’d have to get rid of.. Position change no. 50! Mommy kept you moving for sure. 11:00 pm – An hour had passed and we had made very little progress.. Dr. Chauvin came in again and checked for your position. They feared you’re position was OP (occiput posterior aka sunny side up). Scary thought for me considering those babies are quite a challenge to deliver in general much less with no anesthesia… 3/30/11 12AM – Mommy was EXHAUSTED and her body was out of fuel, and her contractions had slowed and plateaued. She had began getting concerned that she couldn’t do it, that she couldn’t get you out.. I spotted the clock, lost all focus of my contractions and let my mind take over spiraling me into a negative mind set. I rested for about 10 mins, funny how you can sleep in the transitional part of labor, the body really is in charge. It was time for a slight dose of pitocin to get it all back on track. They started me at 2 milliunits, the lowest dose. In 30 minutes they moved it to 4 and by 1am I was at 6. Once the pitocin started to work everything picked up right where it left off, nice and intense! You were finally advancing past the ischial spines into the + stations. Yay!! We were back on track. 1:00 am – It was time to start serious pushing, we had gotten you straightened out in mommy and it was time we meet! Needless to say, you’re quite a big boy and we continued on for 31 more minutes amidst the most incredibly different, fiery, sensations I’ve ever felt. I’m not gonna use hurt, because hurt is for sissys.. Haha In no way shape or form was this a cakewalk, mommy is a fighter. 1:31AM – Outside was the most spectacular light show.. Rain, thunder booms, and lightening, it was the most empowering of skies. One last push and you were here!!! Cyan Brooks Lovetro 8lb 5oz 20 1/2in born3/30/11 you are a magical little boy! My Cosmic Love. They placed you in my arms and instantly I fell in love with you, my baby boy. You were the epitome of perfect to me, a longing that had been fulfilled! We nestled together before they took you to clean you, weigh you and bundle you up. The first few moments are supposedly the most critical in bonding a newborn to his mother and now, I know why. Our hearts steadied together, our breathing reflected each others.. You are forever a part of me. I couldn’t have asked for a more supportive team to get me though the most rewarding thing humanly possible. Daddy, Lily, Rene’, Courtney and the best medical team I could have prayed for at woman’s hospital.. We did it!

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