When Breast Feeding Doesn’t Fit Into Your Plans.
If you have been reading my blog then you know that my breast feeding experience has been anything but easy. But I want to address something else today- selfishness when it comes to giving our all to our kids.
Disclaimer: I can be, have been and certainly will in the future- be selfish. I am a human and am not perfect.
At 7 months old, Jack still nurses almost all night while sleeping. During the day time hours, he is unpredictable. Sometimes he nurses every 2-3 hours but some days, Jack will nurse every hour. This was not my plan!
My plan was that my life would mostly continue as before except for the diaper changes every 2 hours and feedings every 3 hours and progressively longer intervals as time passed. Boy was I wrong!!!!!
I want to nurse my baby, I want to keep him satisfied and healthy but I do not want to be glued to my couch with my son glued to my boob. But breast feeding was and is important to me so that’s exactly what I did and still do some days.
I do not produce tons of milk. I have struggled since he was born despite doing all the ABC’s and 123’s of nursing tips and tricks. So my son has to eat more often to grow, and to keep my supply up enough to sustain him.
This means I didn’t leave my house hardly ever for the first 3 months postpartum, that I had to be comfortable nursing in public right away and that I had to continue eating as if I was pregnant to keep my milk calorie dense- fatty.
I didn’t really want to do any of that. I wanted to return to Taekwondo and get my pre-pregnancy body back right away, I wanted to be able to sleep at least 1/2 the night and I wanted Jack to fit around my needs and schedule.
I was pretty miserable until I thought all of this through. Just as I had given in and over to the birth process, I had to give in to this becoming a mother process. What a relief! My burden had become blessing and my sacrifice a privilege!
Some babies sleep through the night and keep a decent schedule of eating and napping during the day, but mine didn’t, doesn’t and probably never will. He is the definition of a free spirit for sure. And that is actually a wonderful thing.
Be open to the process mamas. Accept your babies as they are and give them your all. One day, they will need that example of dedication to succeed in their own lives.